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“Free speech is getting to say the N-word, or any racial slur, without fear of demonization or persecution.”
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“Free speech means that it is completely within someone’s constitutional rights to say that I developed my fatal lung cancer from licking dogs’ assholes.”
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“The constitutional right to say anything you want, as long as it’s in English.”
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“An excuse to make more money and exert more power and influence under the guise of civic duty.”
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“Not exactly sure. Guess we’ll just start prosecuting people and see what shakes out.”
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“I get my college campus speaking fee in cash, up front.”
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“When Republicans are fully in power, you’ll be provided with a list of acceptable words and phrases.”
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“The question you’re asking me right now is a bad faith question. And let me tell you why it’s bad faith. Because the question that you’re asking, in the way that you’re asking it, is diametrically opposed to the good faith version of the question, and there is a good faith version of the question, but in order to define the difference between the good faith and bad faith versions of the question, first we have to find the definition for…”
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“Americans have the right to compare things to the Holocaust without worrying about the gestapo coming after them.”
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“Free speech is a concept rooted in liberal secrecy with nefarious implications for America and indeed democracy itself.”
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“When I think of free speech, I think of a cage filled with protestors 10 miles from wherever I’m standing.”
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“When you think about it, a barrel’s kind of like the gun’s mouth, and the bullets, its words.”
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“Free speech means I can disagree with you, and you can disagree with me, and then you lose your job teaching.”
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“Here’s the thing they will never tell you: Words cannot be used to express incorrect ideas. You can’t say a sentence that isn’t true. That’s what liberals hate to admit, but know deep down is incontrovertible.”
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“It’s when you get to tell the guy at the bowling alley that you bowled a 294, and the only reason you didn’t bowl a 300 is because one of the pins was broken and wouldn’t go down sometimes, and he has to agree with you that you got robbed by the bowling alley.”
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“Free speech is a sacred union between one man and one woman.”
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“It means I am beholden to no one, aside from the FCC, sponsors, network, my wife, our HOA, and Donald Trump.”
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“Have you asked any liberals? Because my answer is the opposite of whatever they said.”
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“I can’t wait until my father is reelected and we never have to answer this question again.”
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“Freedom of speech must be protected, unless that speech uses the Lord’s name in vain. In that case, I believe the perpetrator should be stoned.”
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“You wouldn’t question my commitment to free speech if you knew the things I said to Bristol when she got pregnant.”
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“Freedom of speech? I’d probably pay $100 billion in an all-stock deal and take it private.”
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“I just want to shoot the aliens again.”
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“Free speech means being able to share any insider stock tip with a sitting member of Congress without fear of punishment.”
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“Chugga chugga chugga, choo choo! Wee-ooo, wee-oo! Pop pop pop pop pop! Beeeeeeep! Ka-boom! But you can say words, too.”
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