Illustration for article titled Consumer Report Indicates Slushies Lose 35% of Their Value Within First Year Of Purchase

DALLAS—Citing adverse factors such as rapid melting rates and poor syrup congealment, a consumer report published Tuesday revealed that the average slushy on the market today loses more than a third of its value within 12 months of initial purchase. “New slushies tend to depreciate quickly, with exposure to the sun or other heat sources severely decreasing the frozen treat’s utility to buyers,” said report author and consumer advocate Darien McNulty, who confirmed the resale value of a single Big Gulp Slurpee can decrease by as much as 15% the moment it leaves a 7-Eleven parking lot. “Across all flavors, from grape to blue raspberry to piña colada, our research suggests that six months after purchase, customers should be prepared to pay for parts and service to ensure proper slushy maintenance. Modern cups, straws, and plastic dome lids simply do not hold up to the wear and tear of daily use.” The report went on to state that customers are better off buying pre-owned slushies from 2016 or earlier, as these beverages maintain surprisingly high customer satisfaction ratings despite being entirely melted.

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