Cosmologists: Aliens Most Likely Huge

Using energy conservation laws, cosmologists at the University of Barcelona have concluded that if intelligent extraterrestrials exist, they are likely to weigh 600 pounds or more and bear little resemblance to their portrayal in pop culture. What do you think?

“We’ll all be 600 pounds soon enough.”

Brian Hunt • Pharmacist


“Can’t I accept anything Hollywood has told me about aliens at face value?”

Harry Kiser • Water Well Pumper

“Just tell me how high up in the tree to tie my food.”

Wendy Rivera • TurboTax Marketer