While a résumé can display your past work experiences, a cover letter is your chance to show prospective employers who you really are and what you bring to the table. Here are The Onion’s tips for writing a memorable cover letter:

  • The cover letter is your opportunity to let prospective employers know what you are capable of, particularly in the event that they don’t hire you.
  • Customize each cover letter you send, but double-check the details. Nothing’s more embarrassing than addressing a letter to Google when it should have gone directly in the garbage.
  • Don’t repeat information that employers have already gleaned from your private social media accounts.
  • Have a close friend read over the final product. If it doesn’t convince them to offer you a negotiable $45,000 plus benefits, go back to the drawing board.
  • If you’re one of those rare candidates who has proficiency in Microsoft Word, then for God’s sake, mention it.
  • Limit yourself to five consecutive uses of the word “please.”
  • Before hitting send, check whether the company prefers footnotes or endnotes in cover letters, and if the latter, how they prefer the appendices organized.
  • Overall, take this chance to show off the kind of dynamic, creative thinking that you’re highly capable of and will almost certainly never be called upon to use.

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