SAN BERNARDINO, CA—Touted as an ideal spot to leaf through a book on a Sunday afternoon, a cozy reading nook in the home of area woman Emma Adamos is expected to generate $23,000 in chiropractor bills over the next five years, sources reported this week. “I swear, when I find a good mystery novel, I can just curl up on that comfy little window seat for hours on end,” Adamos said of the narrow cushioned bench that, according to projections, will also lead to tens of thousands of dollars in charges for MRIs, surgical consultations, physical therapy, acupuncture, muscle relaxants, osteopathic treatments, and other increasingly desperate attempts to manage her debilitating back and neck pain. “It gets great light, too, so it’s a nice place to do some journaling or a little sketching. Sometimes, on a lazy day, I’ll even doze off [and permanently wrench my spine into a shape that will cause me agony for the rest of my life] in that little spot.” Adamos added that the only thing she enjoyed more than her reading nook was relaxing next to the small backyard koi pond that reports confirm will one day be central to a $3 million liability lawsuit against her.