PITTSBURGH—Repeatedly interrupting the broadcast to insist that it is practically a no-risk opportunity, ESPN baseball analyst Curt Schilling reportedly spent the majority of last night’s Sunday Night Baseball game between the Dodgers and Pirates delivering a lengthy real estate investment pitch to fellow color commentator John Kruk. “I’m telling you, John, the market down there in Austin is red-hot, and now is the time to invest,” said the six-time MLB All-Star, having interrupted Kruk’s analysis of the Pirates’ pitching rotation to stress that Austin property values have “exploded 8 percent in the last year alone.” “Seriously, waiting on this will only cost you. All you need to do is invest about 50 grand in a few homes in Brentwood and Allandale, and then I’ll take care of everything else. Within three to five years, you’ll see a return of at least a few hundred thousand dollars—c’mon, it’s a no-brainer.” Reports later confirmed that Schilling abruptly left the broadcast booth during the game’s eighth inning to answer a frantic phone call from his investment partner in Phoenix.

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