EVANSTON, IL—Sliding the top bun over to examine what he just bit into, local diner Brad Steffers reportedly decided Monday he was not going to complain to his server in case he accidentally did order a sandwich with a Band-Aid in it. “I’m not a big fan of these, especially on sandwiches, but it’s very possible an adhesive bandage is a standard topping on their pulled pork,” said the first-time Smoky’s BBQ patron, plucking the sauce-soaked woven rayon Band-Aid from his sandwich and admitting that he didn’t read the menu very closely or check what ingredients came with his selection. “I don’t want to say anything and risk getting the server in trouble for something that could have been my mistake. I didn’t bother asking them to hold any soggy first-aid supplies, and that’s on me. Next time I’ll probably substitute pickles, but who knows? Maybe it’s better this way.” At press time, Steffers was seen amicably paying the bill without argument after noticing he’d been charged an extra dollar for the addition of the Band-Aid.
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