Cyber Monday By The Numbers

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In the 15 years since the term was coined, Cyber Monday has become a staple of the online shopping season. The Onion takes a look at the most eye-popping numbers associated with this hallowed spending tradition.


16: Only remaining shoe size available at five minutes into Cyber Monday.

$29.79 : Optimal pricing sweet spot to really reel in the suckers.

0: Chances in hell of landing a PS5.

364: Other days in the year online outlets sell things.

17: People looking at the same Etsy product as you right now, so you’d better act fast!

23: Digits on Dad’s credit card committed to memory.

4: Days since millions of families waxed poetic about being thankful for what they have.

32: Pant size your mom is grabbing in these khakis regardless of whether they’ll fit because these prices are unbeatable.

64%: Percentage of Jeff Bezos’ master plan complete.

6,000,000: Years of human evolution that led to you sitting in front of a computer trying to save big on underwear.