Cyclist Clearly Loves Signaling Turns

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MILWAUKEE—Judging by the firm outward thrust of the woman’s arm and the length of times she held the gestures, witnesses confirmed Wednesday that a local bicycle rider clearly loves signaling turns. “I’ve been behind this woman for a few streets now, and you can tell she gets some real satisfaction each time she sticks her arm out and lets everyone know which way she’s going,” said local commuter Pete Ulrich, adding that based on the similar enthusiasm with which the cyclist bent her left arm downward at a perfect 90-degree angle next to her, it was obvious she derived an equal amount of pleasure from indicating she was stopping as well. “Just look at the full arm extension she’s putting out there—she absolutely loves every second of it. I’m beginning to think the only reason she’s making any turns at all is so she can signal them.” At press time, sources at the local grocery store where the cyclist had arrived were confirming that she also clearly loved walking around with her pant legs tucked into her socks.