WARRENSBURG, MO—Speculating that it’s probably meant to make the grass greener or fuller or something, living room sources reported Thursday that local dad Brian Winfield, 45, is currently busy throwing little seeds of some kind all over the front lawn. “He’s been at it for a few hours now,” said Megan Winfield, 15, who confirmed that her father is carrying a large bag around, grabbing handfuls of small grain-like kernels, and dropping them methodically on the grass. “He got up really early to do this, so apparently it’s important. He does it every year.” At press time, Winfield was reportedly standing at the edge of the lawn, wiping the sweat from his brow and admiring whatever it was he had just done.
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