David Lee Roth Announces Retirement

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David Lee Roth, original and current lead singer of Van Halen after a rotation of several other frontmen, has announced his retirement, saying the band’s next slate of scheduled concerts will be his last. What do you think?

“Eventually, you have to admit when the music thing isn’t working out.”

Blanche Singh, Toy Critic

“It speaks to our unjust economy that today’s young people will have to front Van Halen until they die.”

Gregory O’Connell, Unemployed


“Smart. You always want to go out within 20 to 30 years of when you were on top.”

P.J. Downes, Flip Flop Cobbler