Whoa-ho-ho, gamers, looks like the deal of the year has been staring us in the face all along! After getting off the phone with a representative at DuPont, it turns out that 9.8 pounds of silicon and plastic is way more affordable than we assumed, meaning you can own the quantity of materials that make up an Xbox Series X for a mere $8.27!
Looks like Christmas came early for any gamers looking to buy the constituent components making up the hottest ticket of this holiday system!
Sure, Microsoft’s latest and greatest console might be backordered at every electronics store in the country, but that’s no excuse for not owning the basic materials that form its semiconductors and casing—and at a fraction of the cost! In fact, if you buy it wholesale at scale—we’re talking 200 to 300 pounds of silicon—you can get it for even cheaper. Of course, owning five palettes of industrial-grade silicon might be a bit much for the average gamer, but for the right person, it would mean having the equivalent of 30 Xbox Series Xs. Think about that!
Just imagine the look your friends will have when you invite them over to check out your new Xbox and you point out the pallet of chemical materials sitting on your entertainment center. Heck, you could even take a welding class for only an additional $125 or so at the local adult education center, and then you’re almost all the way to owning this face-melting graphical powerhouse. Assuming you get some sort of engineering degree, you could even melt the plastic down in an industrial furnace, form it into a shape approximating the real thing, and paint it matte black. Pretty cool, huh?
It’s enough to put a smile on any Microsoft fanboy or fangirl’s face!
Plus, Halo Infinite might not even be out yet, but the polycarbonate that its 4K Blu-Ray is made out of only costs $1.90 per pound. Picture the jealousy in your best bud’s eyes when you pull out a handful of that, point to it, and say, “This could be Master Chief’s next adventure and it’s all mine!” Really, all you’d have to do is carve the polycarbonate into 0.6 MM layers, then use a laser to inscribe it in just the right way and you’d be well on your way to getting the first-ever playable copy of 343 Industry’s next sci-fi epic in the whole world!
But jump on this deal quick, gamers! Once people catch wind that they could be getting their hands on a real-life approximation of the Series X for pennies on the dollar, they’re going to be standing in line outside every raw material supplier’s warehouse in the country. Heck, we’ll say it. This is the most exciting time for video games since we learned back in the ’80s that all you have to do is rearrange a few billion cells in your body and you’d become Shigeru Miyamoto.