MCALESTER, OK—Saying he knew he would just get hungry again later, Oklahoma State Penitentiary death row inmate Harris Boland told reporters Friday he was saving some of his last meal for between execution attempts. “I’m going to eat the lobster tails first while they’re still nice and hot, but they’ll probably be pretty filling, so I’m going to set aside most of the mashed potatoes and gravy till after the second or third attempt when I’ll probably want a little something to snack on,” said Boland, adding that he wasn’t even planning to touch the fried shrimp or garlic bread until several efforts to end his life by lethal injection had passed, figuring he would have some time to really dig into them while prison officials tried to determine why the experimental drug cocktail they gave him wasn’t working. “Once they see I’m clearly still conscious and writhing in pain and then frantically work to stabilize me, I bet that chocolate cake will taste really good. Gosh, it’s making my mouth water just thinking about it. But I’ve got to have some willpower and not touch it when my meal comes, ’cause I know it’ll be so much more satisfying if I wait.” At press time, Boland had decided to bring a bowl of olives with him into the execution chamber, saying it would be nice to have something to nibble on while technicians struggle futilely to locate a suitable vein through which to administer the chemicals.

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