SAN FRANCISCO—Able to derive only a limited amount of self-pleasure from the computer-generated image of Facebook’s founder and CEO, social media users confirmed Wednesday that a deepfake video of Mark Zuckerberg currently circulating online was just barely good enough to masturbate to. “The video isn’t terrible, and I was able to get hard, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was just off about it,” said local masturbator Glen McCurdy, 29, expressing cautious optimism that deepfakes will improve in the future to the point where there’s no uncanny valley between CGI representations of the billionaire entrepreneur and the real thing. “While I’m really intrigued by the idea of technology that can make Mark Zuckerberg do and say whatever I want, this video wasn’t quite there yet. At the very least, they could have put him on a shirtless body or something. I eventually managed to climax, but it took forever.” McCurdy later admitted, however, that the deepfake video provided results far superior to those achieved by his old method of manually photoshopping Mark Zuckerberg’s head onto the nude bodies of male models.
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