Branded Content

Delayed Rocket Launch Causes Astronaut To Miss Connecting Flight

Illustration for article titled Delayed Rocket Launch Causes Astronaut To Miss Connecting Flight

MILKY WAY—Noting with exasperation that the whole thing had become “a logistical nightmare,” astronaut Rick Stolt told reporters today that a delayed Soyuz rocket launch caused him to miss his connecting flight from the International Space Station to the Andromeda Galaxy. “This is just typical Space Agency mismanagement for you—never on time,” said Stolt, panting after scrambling from one end of the space station to the other, only to arrive for his connecting spaceflight just moments after the airlock had sealed and the craft had departed. “Not only did they make me remove my entire suit at launchpad security, but there was absolutely no legroom once I boarded, the entertainment offerings were terrible, and we spent forever taxiing our module into our docking port. And now I can’t even catch another available Andromeda launch window until next May? I’m telling you, this is exactly why everyone hates flying in low earth orbit. Unbelievable.” Stolt conceded that as annoying as the experience had been, nothing compared to the inconvenience of a previous mission in 2005, when NASA misplaced his luggage, mistakenly rerouting it to Omega Centauri.


Brought to you by Marvel