NEWARK, NJ—Citing the recent extreme winter weather that has caused widespread flight delays and cancellations across the country, Delta Airlines counter agent Karen Reinhardt gave stranded man Rod Sloan her personal assurance Tuesday that he will never, ever see his family again. “Sir, you have my word, the word of our Newark crew, and the assurance of the entire Delta Airlines corporation that you will never feel your wife’s warm embrace or see the loving faces of your three young children ever again,” said Reinhardt, who also guaranteed that the recent holidays Sloan spent with his family will surely be his last. “I promise that you are now a man with no family, no home, no center; an outcast; a wanderer unmoored to all you once held dear, left to start anew in a cold and forbidding land. Let me know if there is anything else we can help you with.” Reinhardt went on to reassure Sloan that he would never lay eyes on his checked baggage again, either.
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