Democrat Reassures Friend This One Of The Good Syrian Airstrikes

CHICAGO—Following a report Friday that Joe Biden’s first military action as president had killed at least 22 people at sites used by Iranian-backed fighters, local registered Democrat Tim Randall was overheard reassuring a friend that this was one of the good Syrian airstrikes. “No, no, don’t worry—these are the sorts of bombing raids we’re supposed to be doing,” the Illinois native said of the overnight attack near the Iraq-Syria border, adding that something had happened with U.S. troops overseas and that, for strategic reasons, the commander-in-chief basically had no choice but to respond with deadly force. “Obviously, you’re going to have some airstrikes, and trust me, this is the kind you want to see. While this was, technically, a lethal action on the sovereign territory of another nation, it was really more about sending a message. It’s like when Obama did it, okay? Look, I don’t blame you for being concerned, but you seriously shouldn’t sweat it.” According to Randall, the strike was undoubtedly part of a broader Middle East policy designed to ensure the United States would not have to continue intervening in the region for years on end.

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