A controversial figure among Democrats, Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV) has relentlessly blocked popular pieces of legislation from passing through the Senate. The Onion asked several Democrats why they still support him, and this is what they said.
Democrats Explain Why They Support Joe Manchin
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Loren Pullman (Receptionist)
Loren Pullman (Receptionist)
“His name is in the news so often he must be doing something right.”
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Harold Jesper (Graphic Designer)
Harold Jesper (Graphic Designer)
“He had the little ‘D’ next to his name.”
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Chuck Schumer (U.S. Senator)
Chuck Schumer (U.S. Senator)
“He’s the only thing stopping us from facing the terrifying prospect of having to enact our agenda.”
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Rick Halpern (Oil and Gas Lobbyist)
Rick Halpern (Oil and Gas Lobbyist)
“He’s pretty affordable.”
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Wilford Guerrero (Diagnostic Medical Sonographer)
Wilford Guerrero (Diagnostic Medical Sonographer)
“Democracy relies on voices brave enough to stand up against the needs and wishes of the vast majority of the population.”
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Amy Chen (Retired)
Amy Chen (Retired)
“I also hate my grandkids.”
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Lillian Powell (Retired Nurse)
Lillian Powell (Retired Nurse)
“I’d rather die than reach the day I have to pay higher prices to finance green energy, and with Joe Manchin, I will.”
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Danielle Bentz (Teacher)
Danielle Bentz (Teacher)
“He’s rich, which is frankly enough for me.”
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Hanes Underwood (Machinist)
Hanes Underwood (Machinist)
“He said if I didn’t support him, he’d stymie my agenda as well.”
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Chloe Greenberg (Kindergartner)
Chloe Greenberg (Kindergartner)
“Every night I wake up screaming from a nightmare in which my generation inherits the country’s explosive national debt, and the only thing that lulls me back to sleep is knowing Sen. Manchin won’t let that happen.”
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Kyrsten Sinema (Senator)
Kyrsten Sinema (Senator)
“He usually takes the heat off my equally awful behavior.”
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Dianne Feinstein (Senator)
Dianne Feinstein (Senator)
“Who?”
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Ned Miller (Quarry Manager)
Ned Miller (Quarry Manager)
“In West Virginia, anyone who hasn’t actively committed a hate crime is actually considered a socialist.”
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Gary Kenzie (Chef)
Gary Kenzie (Chef)
“I appreciate Manchin’s loyalty to himself.”
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Maya Kaiser (Barista)
Maya Kaiser (Barista)
“Having the entire legislative process held hostage by a single capricious senator from a state with the 39th-largest population is all part of the plan.”
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Reinaldo Gonzalez (Chef)
Reinaldo Gonzalez (Chef)
“I recognize him from TV.”
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Mary Bernard (Registered Nurse)
Mary Bernard (Registered Nurse)
“If the oil, gas, and coal lobbies trust the man with millions of dollars in donations every single year, who am I to doubt him?”
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Nathanael Day (Referee)
Nathanael Day (Referee)
“Someone needs to stand up for the little guy against voting rights, healthcare reform, minimum-wage increases, marriage equality, education funding, bank regulation, and the Democratic Party as a whole.”
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Nancy Pelosi (House Speaker)
Nancy Pelosi (House Speaker)
“We have the same pharma lobbyist.”
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Henry Harrison (Construction Worker)
Henry Harrison (Construction Worker)
“Everyone deserves a six-year chance to destroy the country.”
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Millie Ramsey (Stenographer)
Millie Ramsey (Stenographer)
“I was told blue no matter who.”
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