Democrats Explain Why They Support Joe Manchin

Democrats Explain Why They Support Joe Manchin

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A controversial figure among Democrats, Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV) has relentlessly blocked popular pieces of legislation from passing through the Senate. The Onion asked several Democrats why they still support him, and this is what they said.

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Loren Pullman (Receptionist)

Loren Pullman (Receptionist)

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“His name is in the news so often he must be doing something right.”

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Harold Jesper (Graphic Designer)

Harold Jesper (Graphic Designer)

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“He had the little ‘D’ next to his name.”

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Chuck Schumer (U.S. Senator)

Chuck Schumer (U.S. Senator)

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“He’s the only thing stopping us from facing the terrifying prospect of having to enact our agenda.”

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Rick Halpern (Oil and Gas Lobbyist)

Rick Halpern (Oil and Gas Lobbyist)

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“He’s pretty affordable.”

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Wilford Guerrero (Diagnostic Medical Sonographer)

Wilford Guerrero (Diagnostic Medical Sonographer)

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“Democracy relies on voices brave enough to stand up against the needs and wishes of the vast majority of the population.”

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Amy Chen (Retired)

Amy Chen (Retired)

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“I also hate my grandkids.”

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Lillian Powell (Retired Nurse)

Lillian Powell (Retired Nurse)

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“I’d rather die than reach the day I have to pay higher prices to finance green energy, and with Joe Manchin, I will.”

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Danielle Bentz (Teacher)

Danielle Bentz (Teacher)

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“He’s rich, which is frankly enough for me.”

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Hanes Underwood (Machinist)

Hanes Underwood (Machinist)

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“He said if I didn’t support him, he’d stymie my agenda as well.”

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Chloe Greenberg (Kindergartner)

Chloe Greenberg (Kindergartner)

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“Every night I wake up screaming from a nightmare in which my generation inherits the country’s explosive national debt, and the only thing that lulls me back to sleep is knowing Sen. Manchin won’t let that happen.”

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Kyrsten Sinema (Senator)

Kyrsten Sinema (Senator)

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“He usually takes the heat off my equally awful behavior.”

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Dianne Feinstein (Senator)

Dianne Feinstein (Senator)

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“Who?”

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Ned Miller (Quarry Manager)

Ned Miller (Quarry Manager)

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“In West Virginia, anyone who hasn’t actively committed a hate crime is actually considered a socialist.”

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Gary Kenzie (Chef)

Gary Kenzie (Chef)

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“I appreciate Manchin’s loyalty to himself.”

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Maya Kaiser (Barista)

Maya Kaiser (Barista)

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“Having the entire legislative process held hostage by a single capricious senator from a state with the 39th-largest population is all part of the plan.”

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Reinaldo Gonzalez (Chef)

Reinaldo Gonzalez (Chef)

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“I recognize him from TV.”

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Mary Bernard (Registered Nurse)

Mary Bernard (Registered Nurse)

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“If the oil, gas, and coal lobbies trust the man with millions of dollars in donations every single year, who am I to doubt him?”

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Nathanael Day (Referee)

Nathanael Day (Referee)

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“Someone needs to stand up for the little guy against voting rights, healthcare reform, minimum-wage increases, marriage equality, education funding, bank regulation, and the Democratic Party as a whole.”

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Nancy Pelosi (House Speaker)

Nancy Pelosi (House Speaker)

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“We have the same pharma lobbyist.”

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Henry Harrison (Construction Worker)

Henry Harrison (Construction Worker)

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“Everyone deserves a six-year chance to destroy the country.”

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Millie Ramsey (Stenographer)

Millie Ramsey (Stenographer)

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“I was told blue no matter who.”

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