WASHINGTON—Suffering from a lack of energy and motivation, a depressed Michelle Obama reportedly purchased a copy of Becoming Thursday to inspire herself. “I guess I’ll give it a shot,” said Obama, who decided to buy an audio book copy as well in case she wanted to listen to the story while attempting to boost her endorphins on the elliptical. “I’ve heard a lot of good things about this book. All of my friends have been raving about it. It might be nice to get a change of perspective since I’ve been so down in the dumps. Even if it ends up just being all meaningless platitudes, it’ll still probably be better than Dreams Of My Father.” At press time, Obama had tossed the book aside to watch The Kissing Booth 2 instead.