DES MOINES, IA—Praising the presidential candidate for nailing a high-profile stop on his campaign tour, witnesses confirmed Thursday that Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis had a surprisingly smooth verbal exchange with a corn dog at the Iowa State Fair. “Frankly, I know he’s struggled with voter interactions in the past, but he looked and sounded totally natural out there when courting that corn dog,” said campaign staffer Greg Wheelan, adding that DeSantis was confident, calm, and collected while addressing the cornmeal-battered, deep-fried frank, and even made sure to compliment its golden brown, crispy exterior, as well as its stick and choice of condiments. “First and foremost, Ron made it clear that he was not just at the Iowa State Fair to campaign, but he was also there to listen, and spent several minutes sitting silently with the corn dog so he could absorb everything it had to say to him. By the end of the conversation, it was clear he’d secured the corn dog’s vote. He even gave it a hug.” At press time, crowds at the fair were reportedly shocked after Ron DeSantis approached a family, screamed something unintelligible, and took a bite out of their young daughter’s arm.
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