Diamonds Might Not Be As Rare As Once Thought

According to new research, the process by which the earth creates diamonds might be more common than we thought, though many of the resultant gems are microscopic and immaterial to humans. What do you think?

“Thanks for the worthless heirloom, Grandma.”

Rosalyn Habian • Candy Flavorer


“Why do scientists insist on announcing these so-called important discoveries that we can’t even immediately profit off of?”

Dominic Lemmons • Itinerary Approver

“Now I feel like a sucker for executing such an elaborate heist.”

Tripp Jones • Deputy Secretary