Differences Between The Stock Market And The Economy

Illustration for article titled Differences Between The Stock Market And The Economy

As the coronavirus pandemic continues to cause widespread disruptions, many have noticed that the country’s stock market and economic situation, which would ostensibly reflect each other, seem to reflect entirely different situations. The Onion looks at the differences between the stock market and the economy.

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Reason For Existence

STOCK MARKET: To help rich get richer

ECONOMY: To help poor get poorer


Basic Function

STOCK MARKET: Where the cabal trades and sells adrenochrome

ECONOMY: Where children are bought, sold, and harvested for the production of adrenochrome

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Iconic Image

STOCK MARKET: Charging Bull sculpture

ECONOMY: Dad sitting sadly in garage


Effect On Retirement

STOCK MARKET: Provides investment opportunities for millions of Americans’ retirements

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ECONOMY: Provides jobs for millions of Americans who thought they’d be retired by now


Best Way To Visualize

STOCK MARKET: Line graph with bunch of random ups and downs

ECONOMY: Pie chart with bunch of random slices


Possibility Of Trickling Down

STOCK MARKET: No

ECONOMY: No, but for argument’s sake, let’s say yes


Dependence On Bells

STOCK MARKET: Totally dependent on bells

ECONOMY: Not dependent on bells


Overvalued Metric That Obfuscates Financial Realities

STOCK MARKET: Yes

ECONOMY: Mostly

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