Differences Between The Stock Market And The Economy

Illustration for article titled Differences Between The Stock Market And The Economy

As the coronavirus pandemic continues to cause widespread disruptions, many have noticed that the country’s stock market and economic situation, which would ostensibly reflect each other, seem to reflect entirely different situations. The Onion looks at the differences between the stock market and the economy.


Reason For Existence

STOCK MARKET: To help rich get richer

ECONOMY: To help poor get poorer

Basic Function

STOCK MARKET: Where the cabal trades and sells adrenochrome

ECONOMY: Where children are bought, sold, and harvested for the production of adrenochrome

Iconic Image

STOCK MARKET: Charging Bull sculpture

ECONOMY: Dad sitting sadly in garage

Effect On Retirement

STOCK MARKET: Provides investment opportunities for millions of Americans’ retirements

ECONOMY: Provides jobs for millions of Americans who thought they’d be retired by now

Best Way To Visualize

STOCK MARKET: Line graph with bunch of random ups and downs

ECONOMY: Pie chart with bunch of random slices

Possibility Of Trickling Down


ECONOMY: No, but for argument’s sake, let’s say yes

Dependence On Bells

STOCK MARKET: Totally dependent on bells

ECONOMY: Not dependent on bells

Overvalued Metric That Obfuscates Financial Realities