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Disappointed Man Reaches Bottom Of Ice Cream Carton Right When He Was Hitting His Stride

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CLEMSON, SC—Kicking himself for not buying more than a single pint, local man Billy Crenshaw was reportedly disappointed Monday that he had reached the bottom of the ice cream carton right when he was hitting his stride. “Oh man, I was in the fucking zone!” said Crenshaw, adding that he had just started feeling “good and loose” when he consumed the final bites of the mint-and-chocolate-flavored frozen dessert. “I wasn’t sure if I was even hungry when I started. Those first couple of bites, I’m not going to lie, they were a little cold. Honestly, I didn’t even start enjoying the ice cream until halfway through. But once I hit that first big chocolate chunk, it was game time. It’s a pity it’s over.” At press time, sources confirmed Crenshaw had decided he shouldn’t waste his momentum and began eating the carton.