Disguised Amazon Drone Sneaks Into Worker Meeting To Disrupt Union Talk

Illustration for article titled Disguised Amazon Drone Sneaks Into Worker Meeting To Disrupt Union Talk

BESSEMER, AL—Quietly gliding into a corner of the room as the rest of the warehouse employees filed in, a disguised Amazon drone reportedly snuck into a worker meeting Monday to disrupt union talks. “Hey guys, I don’t know about all this union stuff—doesn’t it feel like it could impact Amazon’s competitiveness in the global market?” said the aerial vehicle, which blended imperceptibly into the small crowd of gathered workers with the aid of a fluorescent safety vest draped over its frame. “I don’t know about you, but I love my job, and think it’s one of the best there is. Our total compensation package rules! I just want to keep hovering, I mean, walking, around the warehouse floor without fear of retaliation from management. Plus, who wants to pay union dues? When my last job at Alabama factory organized, our dues were 70% of our wages! Wouldn’t you rather spend that money on great products from Amazon, or antennas?” At press time, an Amazon Alexa wearing a pair of safety goggles had spoken up to second everything the drone had just said.