
If motherhood is supposed to be the most beautiful experience in the world, then why is there so much piss, shit, and vomit? Here are the most disgusting things every new parent immediately gets used to.
If motherhood is supposed to be the most beautiful experience in the world, then why is there so much piss, shit, and vomit? Here are the most disgusting things every new parent immediately gets used to.
2 / 20
If you think these are gross, just wait until they start to be filled up with piss and shit.
3 / 20
As hard as you might try not to, eventually it will feel normal to see your baby naked.
4 / 20
Every new parent has to make peace with this unwelcome visitor that ensures a baby’s healthy bowel movement once a day.
5 / 20
It’s understandable, but everyone is initially put off by their newborn’s desire to usurp their father and sleep with their mother.
6 / 20
We all know we should clean up the tens of thousands of larval sacs that are discarded when our brood hatch, but who has the time?
7 / 20
It’s a nauseating onslaught of shapes and patterns, so avert your baby’s eyes as soon as they walk into the exam room.
8 / 20
Like it or not, a robust, brassy Marlboro is the only thing that can put a baby down for the night.
9 / 20
Parents are horrified to know their unbaptized baby’s sins cannot be forgiven and when they die their soul will go directly to hell.
10 / 20
It’s not exactly appetizing, but there’s no other way to get their daily recommended amount of raw red meat into a baby bottle.
11 / 20
Doesn’t excrete all that much and often recedes into the chin as a dimple within a year.
12 / 20
No matter how much medication you give them, babies will find a way to climb up and cough a sticky clump of their own fur right onto your bed.
13 / 20
Unfortunately, this will be your first thought when the baby goes missing.
14 / 20
It’s gross, but babies don’t learn until twomonths that no one likes their “Shit Factory” onesie.
15 / 20
Once they smell one in the yard, they’ll decapitate it and drop it at your feet as a present.
16 / 20
Kids are full of blood, and it’s notoriously difficult to keep it from spilling out.
17 / 20
It may take some time to get used to their repulsive babbling, but like any successful parent, you just learn to tune every noise they make out.
18 / 20
The constant knowledge that anything could bring us to our untimely demise is absolutely disgusting.
19 / 20
That is not the face you married.
20 / 20