Dismayed NASA Announces Massive Cargo Ship Stuck Between Earth And Moon

Illustration for article titled Dismayed NASA Announces Massive Cargo Ship Stuck Between Earth And Moon

GREENBELT, MD—Warning that the jam could cause major disruptions among intergalactic shipping networks, dismayed NASA officials announced Monday that a massive freighter was currently stuck between the Earth and the Moon. “We regret to inform you all that as of this morning, there’s a large supply ship currently blocking our pathway to the moon,” said Dennis Andrucyk, director of NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Center, explaining how all outgoing spacecrafts would have to take a detour around Venus until they could figure out how to get the cargo ship dislodged. “We think it may have gotten stuck due to some unforeseen gravitational disturbances as well as unexpectedly strong solar winds. We’ve sent a fleet of rockets up there to try and pull it to the left in the hopes that it will change its trajectory, but we must also warn you that there’s a lot of space debris gathering in there, so it’s going to be pretty hard to get out. Unfortunately, it could take weeks before we can put an excavator on the moon to dig the out the cargo carrier.” At press time, a hopeful Andrucyk announced that the agency had successfully dislodged the ship’s bow.