The secretary for Disney’s head of corporate communications was arrested for attempting to sell business secrets—including a rumored sale of ABC—for the purposes of insider trading.
Here are some of the other secrets she was trying to sell:
- Babies born in Disneyland stay in Disneyland
- Pixar movies are now self-aware and have been animating themselves since Ratatouille
- The Lion King on Broadway will be two-for-one in the spring of 2012!!!
- Disney employs hundreds of thousands of undocumented enchanted broom workers
- Recent market research shows awareness of Chip ‘n’ Dale highest among meth users
- Tips for landing even the most elusive character autographs
- Company covered up 1955 fairy-dust explosion that killed nine chemical imagineers
- Location of Main Street, USA’s secret glory hole
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