In my quest for "An American President" on VHS, I'd nearly forgotten all about the CNN Fancy Grill. But sure enough, as I show up, there it is, mocking me in front of the beautiful Pepsi Cola Center.

I asked a kind young man with the Secret Service if he knew the password to get in. Apparently the password is even too secret for the Secret Service! Well, let's just hope there are no El Qaeda terrorists who've snuck in for some CNN Ice Cream because that CNN Fancy Grill perimeter is tough to breach!


So…snubbed again by the battle-axe working security at the Fancy Grill, I was forced to look elsewhere because I was feeling a little "snack hungry." This was my only option:

Illustration for article titled DNC Coverage: Secret Service

Not bad, all things considered. Had myself a "Corn Dog" and washed it down with an ice cold All-American Pepsi Cola. But while my hunger was momentarily satisfied, my yearning for the CNN Fancy Grill was not. Damn you, Ted Turner! Damn you to Hell!

I make this solemn vow, right here on the Information Superhighway: I WILL get into that Fancy Grill if it's the last thing I do.


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