Doctor Assures Limbaugh Family It Normal For Body To Continue Ranting About Welfare Queens Hours After Death

Illustration for article titled Doctor Assures Limbaugh Family It Normal For Body To Continue Ranting About Welfare Queens Hours After Death

PALM BEACH, FL—Explaining that it was a totally normal occurrence and they shouldn’t be alarmed, local doctor Philippa Anaios reportedly assured the Limbaugh family Wednesday that it was normal for their deceased relative body’s to still be ranting about welfare queens hours after his death. “While I know it’s difficult for you to see him like this, I want to assure you that in cases like his, it is fully expected that the remains will scream about Black single mothers leeching off the government long past the point when brain activity has ceased,” said Dr. Anaios, addressing family members gathered around the late radio host’s deathbed as she added that they could expect Limbaugh’s decaying corpse to continue blurting out derogatory statements about “feminazis” and undocumented immigrants for days, possibly even weeks. “Don’t be alarmed if he suddenly bolts upright and starts talking about the ‘real’ birthplace of Barack Obama—it’s just a reflex reaction, the last few neurons in his spinal cord firing off. I assure you, even though he may still be going on diatribes about the Green New Deal being an ecoterrorist plot or how you should be scared of AIDS patients, we can take comfort knowing he has moved on from this world.” At press time, sources confirmed the doctor was attempting to subdue the corpse after it suddenly grabbed her around the neck and began calling her a slut.