TAOS, NM—Former U.S. secretary of defense Donald Rumsfeld passed away Wednesday at 88 years old, sources confirmed, and is survived by 1 million fewer Iraqis. “It is with tremendous sorrow that we share the passing of an American icon, whose legacy in decades of shaping U.S. foreign policy will be felt by the hundreds of thousands of Iraqi men, women, and children who might otherwise still be alive,” read an obituary of the former U.S. congressman, White House chief of staff, and RAND Corporation chairman, adding that he also leaves behind an incalculable number of current and former prisoners who will feel his influence for the rest of their lives. “After a long and rich life, Donald leaves behind the stark absence of so many Iraqi mothers, fathers, uncles and aunts, grandparents, children, and grandchildren, as well as innumerable never-to-be-born potential descendants. He also leaves behind hundreds of thousands fewer Afghans, and we cannot forget the untold lives he has also helped snuff out through his proud work with defense and pharmaceutical companies in the private sector. He may be gone, but his impact will be felt forever.” Following the former defense secretary’s cremation, the family would reportedly act in accordance with his wishes by force-feeding his ashes to prisoners at Guantanamo.