Dutch Inventor’s Covid-19 Test Uses Screams Instead Of Nasal Swabs

A Dutch man claims to have invented a new type of coronavirus screening that places participants into an airlocked cabin to scream or sing as an air purifier collects emitted particles to test for the virus. What do you think?

“I hope they can get enough particles from my world-weary sigh.”

Estelle Carney, Funeral Greeter

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“Thanks, but I’m not about to give up my only access to human physical contact.”

Hector Lozano, Conspiracy Activist

“Is it an issue if I don’t have perfect pitch?”

Joey Rangel, Pretzel Artist