Safety, Seattle Seahawks
Strengths: Prominently featured in OSN’s Super Bowl guide; Came up with the “of” part in “Legion of Boom”
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Weaknesses: Lacks ideal-sized mouth for Seahawks secondary; Modest, selfless demeanor alienates him from teammates
Childhood Nickname That No Amount Of Professional Success Can Eclipse: Girl Thomas
Enjoys: Long, romantic backpedals
Best Known As: That other guy who’s not Richard Sherman
Endorsements: Lockheed Martin, General Dynamics, Northrop Grumman
Volunteer Activity: Nursing abandoned footballs
Opinion On Gay Players In The NFL: You don’t want to know