Earl Thomas

Safety, Seattle Seahawks

Strengths: Prominently featured in OSN’s Super Bowl guide; Came up with the “of” part in “Legion of Boom”

Weaknesses: Lacks ideal-sized mouth for Seahawks secondary; Modest, selfless demeanor alienates him from teammates

Childhood Nickname That No Amount Of Professional Success Can Eclipse: Girl Thomas

Enjoys: Long, romantic backpedals

Best Known As: That other guy who’s not Richard Sherman

Endorsements: Lockheed Martin, General Dynamics, Northrop Grumman

Volunteer Activity: Nursing abandoned footballs

Opinion On Gay Players In The NFL: You don’t want to know