INDIANAPOLIS—Discussing how best to discipline the species, local ecologists reportedly expressed disappointment Friday after finding a pack of cigarettes that monarch butterflies had hidden in their habitat. “All the work we do to keep you healthy and alive, and you’re going to throw it all away for what—to look cool to the other insects?” asked lead conservationist Dr. Gretchen Powers, confronting the endangered species with the pack of Marlboro Reds she found behind a large thatch of milkweed while the butterflies were out. “It reeks of smoke in this patch of prairie, I knew it. Who bought these for you, the snakes that hang out by the gas station? Don’t make us show you what a smoker’s lungs look like again. I’ve just about had it. Do not roll those compound eyes at me!” At press time, the ecologists were reportedly livid after also finding a box of condoms.