The rise of massive annual wildfires and hurricanes around the U.S. has shone a spotlight on whether certain areas of the country will be habitable in the future, a reality that would reshape America in many ways. The Onion looks at the effects of future climate change migration.
Thirty percent of populace fleeing from wildfires in rearview mirror at any given time.
Real estate companies begin listing all property as “potential beachfront.”
Creates tighter, more efficient radius for Amazon to deliver packages to.
At least one big tech guy tries building an underwater town.
Government officials overwhelmed trying to deport both international and American refugees.
Resurgence in freight-hopping folk singers.
Politicians devoting increased attention to gerrymandering newly populated areas.
Decreased use of positive fire metaphors in future poems.
Residence decisions based solely on preference for wet or dry suffering.
Colorado more or less the same.