SAN JOSE, CA—According to sources, either a listener of local Spanish-language radio program Mañana Gigante con Luis y Moon Dog has just won some sort of promotional contest by being the 14th caller or the entire radio station is currently engulfed in flames. Protracted screams of "aye, aye, aye, muy caliente!" and "en fuego!" could be heard on the broadcast of either the celebratory exultation or out-of-control blaze, and were accompanied by the sounds of loud sirens, breaking glass, and dogs barking. As of press time, no emergency vehicles have been dispatched to the scene, and several witnesses have reportedly turned the dial to classic rock station 101.9 the Eagle just in time to catch the solo of either "War Pigs" or "Iron Man."
More from The Onion