‘Elder Scrolls’ Update Imminent: Todd Howard’s Tracks Suggest His Blood Loss Is Slowing Him Down Too Much To Continue Outrunning Us

Illustration for article titled ‘Elder Scrolls’ Update Imminent: Todd Howard’s Tracks Suggest His Blood Loss Is Slowing Him Down Too Much To Continue Outrunning Us

Good tidings, Elder Scrolls fans! It’s been almost a decade since the last release in Bethesda’s beloved fantasy series, but it seems some cool new tidbits about the hotly anticipated sixth installment are just around the bend! Our hounds have been stalking series director Todd Howard through the evening, day in and day out, for nearly a full fortnight, and the tracks from his blood loss suggest he’s slowing down far too quickly to ever outrun us.


These woods are deep and treacherous, gamers. Mr. Howard will not continue long with his broken leg—not without telling us everything he knows about where, exactly, Elder Scrolls VI will take place on the continent of Tamriel. Wily and stout though Todd Howard may be, we all have our breaking points, and that means a new trove of information on the next Elder Scrolls is undoubtedly on the way.

Admittedly, Howard evaded our scouts at the frozen river junction. He deftly navigated through our bear traps in the prairie frost. But judging by the stained bandages we found hastily discarded in the snow, Howard is beginning to succumb to the elements. Soon, his mind will turn on him, and then he will tell us all he knows about the supposed customizable runic magic system and how that will impact the core gameplay experience beloved by Elder Scrolls fans the world over!

Frostbite can be painful, indeed, gaming fans. Eventually, a man may decide the simpler path than fleeing is simply confessing the exact details of what roll the Aldmeri Dominion could play in the new game’s narrative, or if any new joinable factions like the Dawnguard will figure into all of this. Boy, these sure are exciting days to be an open-world fantasy diehard!

To be frank, there were times during our hunt that we feared we would never be able to tell you whether we might see the rebuilt Orsinium, or if dragons might make a reappearance from Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim. Howard is a worthy prey, indeed. He has often thrown us off his track with false footprints and brush coverings. But this delicious game of cat-and-mouse is coming to an end. Our bloodhounds have picked up his scent for the last time. He is hungry and alone.

It is only a matter of time, gamers.

So check back soon when we’ll be sure to have everything you need to know from the mouth of this legendary game developer! And sound off in comments to let us know if there’s anything you want us to ask the man himself. Just make sure you get in your comments quickly! Based on the latest tracks we found in the snow, it seems like he’s reduced to crawling now and we’re sure to have him in our clutches within the day!