SAN FRANCISCO—Hissing at his remaining employees to close the blinds and stay out of sight, Elon Musk reportedly hid in a darkened office at Twitter headquarters Friday as his landlord banged on the door demanding that he pay rent. “Oh, shit—everybody get down and shut up,” said Musk, who according to sources turned out the lights, ducked behind a desk, and lay trembling on the floor as the property owner shook the handle of the locked office door. “Fuck, is it already two weeks late? You two, turn off those noisy servers and barricade the doors. The rest of you go back to your beds and stay quiet until he leaves.” At press time, reports confirmed Musk was begging the landlord to show him some sympathy and give a struggling single dad with nine children to feed some extra time to scrape the money together.