SAN FRANCISCO—Following a traumatizing incident on stage at a recent Dave Chappelle show, tech entrepreneur Elon Musk reportedly underwent surgery Tuesday to receive an experimental Neuralink brain implant, an attempt to delete the painful memory of being booed by a crowd of 18,000 people. “I don’t want to think about an arena full of people booing me for 10 whole minutes ever again—this is the only way,” a crying Musk said to his team of protesting neurosurgeons before lying down on the operating table and pulling the anesthesia mask up to his mouth. “I don’t care if it’s not ready. I’m your boss, and I’m telling you to do everything in your power to erase this horrible memory. I can still hear the echoing disappointment. Oh, God, it hurts. And if you don’t jam that thing into my brain right now, it will haunt me for the rest of my life. Don’t wake me up until it’s gone!” At press time, sources reported that the implant had left Musk drooling and immobile, his mind retaining little but the very clear memory of being booed by a crowd of 18,000 people.
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