ALBANY, GA—Explaining that she felt relaxed and had a renewed sense of focus, local account manager Kayla Eggert told reporters Monday that she had returned to work from her recent vacation completely refreshed and ready to waste time. “Six days in Hawaii was just what I needed to unwind, and it’s great to come back feeling recharged for another week of dodging emails I don’t feel like dealing with and checking Facebook instead of writing up reports,” said Eggert, adding that being “off the grid” at a beachside resort had actually reinvigorated her to get back into the swing of landing a new high score in Candy Crush during staff meetings. “Getting away from the office is something you need to do every once in a while. It’s a shame I can’t take time off more often—making small talk with people in the break room when you should be connecting with clients on a proposal can really wear you down.” At press time, a rejuvenated Eggert was avoiding drawing up a project timetable by posting photos of her vacation online.
More from The Onion