The government recently expanded its abstinence-only message to include adults. They have used the following strategies to encourage men and women to abstain from sex:
- Launching nationwide initiative to end boredom
- Starting 24-hour hotline they can call anytime the urge to have sex strikes; $2.99 a minute
- Suggesting that at any moment their parents could walk in
- Reinstating Prohibition
- Convincing Al Green to record "No Need To Rush It, Baby"
- Encouraging them to explore gay sex, because everyone knows sex only counts if it's between man and woman
- Lowering volume in bars so people are forced to actually get to know each other
- Leading by example