Objectively Too Many Recommendations For Knives

Spain: Kind Of Lost Touch With Them Over The Years, But We Hope Everything’s Going Well

Skate-Shoving: The Dangerous Teen Trend We’re Trying To Get Going

The Onion Reviews ‘Wonder Woman 1984’

The Onion Reviews ‘Mulan’

The Onion Reviews ‘Onward’

Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 17, 2020

Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 10, 2020

Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 20, 2020

‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ Casting Assistant Discusses Difficulties Of Finding Extras Who Are Willing To Be Eaten Alive

‘Incredibles 2’ Animator Describes How He Missed The Birth Of His First Child So Mr. Incredible Could Have Consistently Sized Peni...

‘Ocean’s 8’ Production Assistant Describes What Rich Women Smell Like

Food To Leave Out For God On Christmas Eve

A Quick And Simple Drywall Recipe That Kids With Pica Will Love

A Fun Recipe With Jackfruit You Should Learn To Avoid Looking Like A Knuckle-Dragging Dirt Person

Stargazing Tips

Reporter Investigates Claims He Ruined His Family's Thanksgiving Dinner

Wild Fall Break Parties Pose Risks For College Students

What Are We Sugarcoating?

How Are We Failing Our Driving Test?

Least Popular Spring Break Packages

Report: Slamming Boss Against Wall, Shouting ‘Cash! I Need More Cash!’ Still Leading Tactic For Securing Raise

Greyhound Now Offering Premium Upgrade To Slightly Less Disgusting Seats

Report: Many Companies Now Offering Women Permanent, Unpaid Maternity Leave

Onion Talks: Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog

The Only Person Who Can Help Me Get A Bus To Yonkers Is You

Maximize Your Brainpower By Firing Every Neuron At Once

Michael Bay Gives Fans Sneak Peek At Ninja Turtles’ Hyper-Realistic CGI Genitals

Is Emma Stone Sporting A Baby Bump? A Nine-Year-Old Boy Tells Us What He Thinks

Actor Shows Incredible Lack Of Commitment To Role By Staying Out Of Character Even During Takes

The Onion’s 2013 Holiday Gift Guide

The Onion’s Father’s Day Gift Guide For The Active Dad

The Onion’s Father’s Day Gift Guide For Dad Around The House