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OGN
America's Finest News Source.
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News In Brief
Critically Acclaimed ‘Ted Lasso’ Episode Just Stock Photos Of People Hugging Each Other
News In Brief
‘Oh God, This Is Just Like ‘The Handmaid’s Tale,’’ Reports Man Standing Next To Elisabeth Moss
Slideshow
Scrapped Plot Lines That Would Have Changed Your Favorite Movies Forever
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News In Brief
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Post-Credits Scene Hints That Fans Can Probably Skip Rest Of Marvel Movies
Band Really Busting Asses To Earn Local Concertgoer’s Head Nod
‘Oh God, This Is Just Like ‘The Handmaid’s Tale,’’ Reports Man Standing Next To Elisabeth Moss
Magazine
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We Thought It Might Be Cool To Write A Whole Issue Using A Ouija Board But We Were Wrong, It Sucks, It’s Dogshit
Heartbreak, Grief, Fun For The Whole Family: The September 11 Attacks/'Osmosis Jones' 20th Anniversary Issue
Meet The 8-Year-Old Whiz Kid Whose Neurotoxin Could Kill Millions If Even A Drop Found Its Way Into The Water Supply
News In Photos
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Norm Macdonald Sent To Hell For Mocking God’s Friend O.J. Simpson
Kanye West Doxxes Drake By Sharing Map Of Canada On Instagram
Nick Cannon Announces He’s About To Cum If Any Nearby Women Want Kids
Infographic
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The Onion’s Fall 2021 Album Preview
The Onion’s Fall 2021 TV Preview
Biggest Revelations From The New Bob Ross Documentary
Slideshow
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Red Flags To Clock The Second You Start Dating
Bullshit Alternative Medical Procedures You Should Never Have Done
Scrapped Plot Lines That Would Have Changed Your Favorite Movies Forever
Onion Film Standard
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The Onion Reviews ‘Wonder Woman 1984’
The Onion Reviews ‘Mulan’
The Onion Reviews ‘Onward’
Horoscopes
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Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 17, 2020
Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 10, 2020
Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 20, 2020
Behind the Scenes
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‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ Casting Assistant Discusses Difficulties Of Finding Extras Who Are Willing To Be Eaten Alive
‘Incredibles 2’ Animator Describes How He Missed The Birth Of His First Child So Mr. Incredible Could Have Consistently Sized Peni...
‘Ocean’s 8’ Production Assistant Describes What Rich Women Smell Like
Cooking
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Food To Leave Out For God On Christmas Eve
A Quick And Simple Drywall Recipe That Kids With Pica Will Love
A Fun Recipe With Jackfruit You Should Learn To Avoid Looking Like A Knuckle-Dragging Dirt Person
Onion News Network
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Stargazing Tips
Reporter Investigates Claims He Ruined His Family's Thanksgiving Dinner
Wild Fall Break Parties Pose Risks For College Students
Time Killers
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What Are We Sugarcoating?
How Are We Failing Our Driving Test?
Least Popular Spring Break Packages
Onion Special Report
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Report: Slamming Boss Against Wall, Shouting ‘Cash! I Need More Cash!’ Still Leading Tactic For Securing Raise
Greyhound Now Offering Premium Upgrade To Slightly Less Disgusting Seats
Report: Many Companies Now Offering Women Permanent, Unpaid Maternity Leave
Onion Talks
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Onion Talks: Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog
The Only Person Who Can Help Me Get A Bus To Yonkers Is You
Maximize Your Brainpower By Firing Every Neuron At Once
StarFix
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Michael Bay Gives Fans Sneak Peek At Ninja Turtles’ Hyper-Realistic CGI Genitals
Is Emma Stone Sporting A Baby Bump? A Nine-Year-Old Boy Tells Us What He Thinks
Actor Shows Incredible Lack Of Commitment To Role By Staying Out Of Character Even During Takes
Gift Guide
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The Onion’s 2013 Holiday Gift Guide
The Onion’s Father’s Day Gift Guide For The Active Dad
The Onion’s Father’s Day Gift Guide For Dad Around The House
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