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News In Brief
Harry Styles Reveals ‘Dunkirk’ About Female Orgasm
News In Brief
William Shatner Overjoyed To Take Blue Origin Flight After Learning Space Actually Real
News In Brief
Critics Demand Terrible TV Show Squander Talents Of More Diverse Cast
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News In Photos
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Smithsonian Acquires Arms Of Kermit The Frog Puppeteer
Norm Macdonald Sent To Hell For Mocking God’s Friend O.J. Simpson
Kanye West Doxxes Drake By Sharing Map Of Canada On Instagram
Magazine
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Fat And Stupid: Meet The Man Refusing To Challenge America's Stereotypes
Overcoming Grief Using Ordinary Household Items
Could Putting Solar Panels On The Vietnam Memorial Be An Offensive Way To Help Stop Climate Change?
News In Brief
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Megan Fox Worried Machine Gun Kelly Only With Her To Meet Transformers
Post-Pandemic Cinema-Goers’ Eyes, Ears Rupture As Senses Overwhelmed By Theater Experience
Bisexual Superman Ruins Comic For Fan Who Preferred Smoldering Homoerotic Undertones
Infographic
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Fox News Turns 25
Disney World Turns 50
The Onion’s Fall 2021 Album Preview
Slideshow
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Red Flags To Clock The Second You Start Dating
Bullshit Alternative Medical Procedures You Should Never Have Done
Scrapped Plot Lines That Would Have Changed Your Favorite Movies Forever
Onion Film Standard
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The Onion Reviews ‘Wonder Woman 1984’
The Onion Reviews ‘Mulan’
The Onion Reviews ‘Onward’
Horoscopes
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Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 17, 2020
Your Horoscopes — Week Of November 10, 2020
Your Horoscopes — Week Of October 20, 2020
Behind The Scenes
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‘Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom’ Casting Assistant Discusses Difficulties Of Finding Extras Who Are Willing To Be Eaten Alive
‘Incredibles 2’ Animator Describes How He Missed The Birth Of His First Child So Mr. Incredible Could Have Consistently Sized Peni...
‘Ocean’s 8’ Production Assistant Describes What Rich Women Smell Like
Cooking
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Food To Leave Out For God On Christmas Eve
A Quick And Simple Drywall Recipe That Kids With Pica Will Love
A Fun Recipe With Jackfruit You Should Learn To Avoid Looking Like A Knuckle-Dragging Dirt Person
Onion News Network
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Stargazing Tips
Reporter Investigates Claims He Ruined His Family's Thanksgiving Dinner
Wild Fall Break Parties Pose Risks For College Students
Time Killers
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What Are We Sugarcoating?
How Are We Failing Our Driving Test?
Least Popular Spring Break Packages
Onion Special Report
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Report: Slamming Boss Against Wall, Shouting ‘Cash! I Need More Cash!’ Still Leading Tactic For Securing Raise
Greyhound Now Offering Premium Upgrade To Slightly Less Disgusting Seats
Report: Many Companies Now Offering Women Permanent, Unpaid Maternity Leave
Onion Talks
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Onion Talks: Hypothetically It Would Be Okay To Have Sex With A Robot Dog
The Only Person Who Can Help Me Get A Bus To Yonkers Is You
Maximize Your Brainpower By Firing Every Neuron At Once
StarFix
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Michael Bay Gives Fans Sneak Peek At Ninja Turtles’ Hyper-Realistic CGI Genitals
Is Emma Stone Sporting A Baby Bump? A Nine-Year-Old Boy Tells Us What He Thinks
Actor Shows Incredible Lack Of Commitment To Role By Staying Out Of Character Even During Takes
Gift Guide
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The Onion’s 2013 Holiday Gift Guide
The Onion’s Father’s Day Gift Guide For The Active Dad
The Onion’s Father’s Day Gift Guide For Dad Around The House
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