SAN FRANCISCO—Desperately searching for any cues that might let them know it was appropriate to snap their fingers or vocalize their approval, every audience member at Beat Night SF reportedly sat for over two hours Thursday night attempting to conceal their complete ignorance about what anything occurring in front of them could possibly mean. “Tonight’s readings have been very raw and real, and they all definitely made me think about life and art and all sorts of different things in a way I wouldn’t have thought about them before,” said patron Thomas Gallo, who like all other members of the audience at Beanz Coffee Shop spent the evening hiding his profound lack of understanding by either closing his eyes and nodding or swaying ever so lightly to the underlying jazz music. “It’s like that one performer said up there: The poet is the paint and we are the canvas. Sometimes when a piece of art is truly brilliant, you shouldn’t even try to explain it. Yeah, there’s definitely no need to try to explain it at all.” At press time, the entire audience reportedly felt a sense of relief following what was believed to be the conclusion of a poem, only to be blindsided by a rhythmic, six-minute indictment of “suburban exhaust pipe parking lots.”

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