Eric Trump Requests Meeting With Barron To Determine Whether They Are Uncle And Nephew Or Brothers Or What

Illustration for article titled Eric Trump Requests Meeting With Barron To Determine Whether They Are Uncle And Nephew Or Brothers Or What

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to solve a longstanding source of confusion, Eric Trump reportedly requested a formal meeting with Barron Trump Wednesday to determine whether they are uncle and nephew or brothers or what. “Dear sur [sic], so I know we both have the same last name, which is Trump, so does that make you my cousin or what? If you no [sic] please right [sic] back,” wrote Eric Trump in an email draft, calling for a summit to establish if they were grandfather and grandson, second uncles, coworkers, or friend-in-laws.“Ivanka is your mom, right? I tried to ask my dad but he just yelled that he didn’t know either. Maybe we’re both godfathers to Don Jr., but then does that make Tiffany my wife. Honestly, maybe we should do a T and A test [sic] and see if that helps us figure this out. Okay, just let me know where you live. Also, I could use help sending this email if you get a chance.” At press time, Eric had concluded that they were both step brothers from the marriage of Marla Maples and Jared Kushner.

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