WASHINGTON—With pressure mounting on members of the generation to step down amid accusations of racism, sources confirmed every baby boomer in the United States had been urged to resign Monday after images surfaced in which they can be seen wearing blackface makeup. “Although those photos do not represent who we are now, the people you see in those pictures are, in fact, us,” said 64-year-old Cleveland resident Russell Sedlak, speaking on behalf of all Americans born between 1946 and 1964, each of whom can be seen in black face paint, oversized red lips, and a curly wig in one of 73 million photographs unearthed from yearbooks and family albums. “Despite thinking it was funny at the time, we understand now, with the benefit of hindsight, that it was deeply offensive to many people. We also wish to stress that our decisions to wear these costumes, while regrettable, were not undertaken in malice. After all, the 1960s, 1970s, 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s were a very different time.” At press time, reports indicated the baby boomers had all refused to leave their jobs and leadership positions and were instead opting to donate $50 to the NAACP.
More from The Onion