
NEWARK, NJ—The stress and tedium of air travel were reportedly relieved Wednesday when passengers in Newark Liberty Airport’s Terminal C were treated to the wheezing, waddling antics of an overweight family hurriedly straining to catch a flight to Orlando. “Well, that was an utter delight,” said witness Monica Adler, adding that it was “wonderfully satisfying” to see a frazzled and obese mother try to hang on to her Auntie Anne’s pretzel while running to her gate. “Watching them huffing and puffing, yelling at the children to speed up but then falling behind themselves, all while weighed down by their carry-on baggage… The only thing that could have made it more enjoyable would have been ‘Baby Elephant Walk’ playing over the loudspeakers.” At press time, onlookers were bursting into delighted cheers as the family had to suddenly turn around and run the other way following a gate change announcement.