CARLIN, NV—Expressing their exasperation upon watching the latest in his long string of disappointing movie recommendations, friends of area resident John Blakely announced Monday they had decided to give up on him completely. "That's it—he’s done," said 27-year-old Patrick Cairnes, who added that he blamed himself for not giving up on Blakely sooner, especially considering what their friendship went through when Blakely insisted he listen to Kings of Leon. "John went on and on about how I should see The Adjustment Bureau, but then I watched it and it’s fucking terrible. At this point, I'm actually starting to wonder how we became friends in the first place." When asked if Blakely had even once recommended a movie they liked, several friends conceded The Social Network was "pretty good," but said they hardly needed anyone’s endorsement to go see that one.
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