Far-right Brazilian president Jair Bolsonaro fled to the United States after leading an unsuccessful campaign to overturn the results of the presidential last election. Here is everything Bolsonaro has done while in exile in Orlando, FL.
Did An Ernest Saves Christmas Walking Tour
The Orlando film classic is well known as Bolsonaro’s all-time favorite movie.
Bought the Go City Explorer Pass
When he heard he could see top city attractions all on one digital pass, the fiscal conservative simply could not pass up the opportunity.
Was Bitten By More Birds
Ever since being pecked by an Emu-like bird during his own Covid isolation, Bolsonaro has become a bit of a bird magnet, often experiencing multiple bird bites in a single day.
They don’t have them in Brazil.
Clearcut A Local Park
With no Amazon rainforest to devastate, this was his only other option.
Got A Tribal Tattoo
After a night of carousing at Señor Frog’s, an inebriated Bolsonaro insisted his driver pull over at a nearby tattoo parlor so he could get a ring of stylized thorns inked around his bicep.
Ate The Entire 20-Gallon Pot Of Feijoada At The Restaurant In The Brazil Pavilion At Epcot
That boy can put away beans!
Held His Breath At Disney’s ‘Drawn To Life’ By Cirque do Soleil
Even military officers aren’t immune to the power of acrobatic dance.
Got An Unbelievable Deal On A Beachfront Timeshare
He also has a few referral codes left if you act fast.
Unknowingly Hit On A Beyoncé Wax Statue At Madame Tussauds
When his wife wasn’t looking, Bolsonaro misfired at the wax museum thinking he was actually hitting on the pop star.
Flashed The Splash Mountain Camera
Like so many Disney World tourists before him, Bolsonaro lifted his shirt just as his picture was taken at the end of the flume ride.
Urinated In The Wave Pool At Blizzard Beach
An Orlando rite of passage.
Realized That Mar-a-Lago Is Not In Orlando
A stunned Bolsonaro just assumed Donald Trump’s residence was located inside Disney World, and not a two-and-a-half-hour drive away.
Toured City Hall And Its Pathetic Security Features
No heavily armed military presence? Minimal security cameras? My God. It’s practically begging to be occupied…
Rode The Tower Of Terror Twice
It’s actually even scarier the second time!
Freaked Out After Receiving A Huge Hospital Bill
Bolsonaro got to have the quintessential American experience of panicking after getting an absurdly high hospital bill.
Contracted Covid Again
In his obsessive quest to collect every strain of the virus, Bolsonaro attended two indoor sports events and five campus parties at UCF before finally getting BQ.1.1 at a local preschool’s winter recital.