WASHINGTON—Explaining that they simply couldn’t contain themselves in advance of the April 15 deadline, excited citizens all across the country were reportedly already lining up outside their regional IRS offices Monday in anticipation of Tax Day, sources confirmed. “Oh, my goodness, I can’t believe it’s time to start itemizing all of my work-related expenses again and calculating my deductions—I can hardly wait!” said visibly giddy Cleveland resident Meredith Kinney, one of millions of Americans standing in miles-long lines winding from the entrances of the nation's IRS facilities as they eagerly awaited filing their 2014 federal taxes. “All year long, I carefully collect every necessary receipt, and then I just count down the hours until I can organize all of my family’s relevant 1099-INT forms, records of charitable contributions, Schedule K-1s, and 1099-MISC forms in order to be ready for the big day. Sometimes I can’t help myself and start filling out my 1040 even before January 1. Oh, how I wish my employer would send out my W-2s so I could file right now!” The men and women lined up throughout the nation added that their enthusiasm for the approaching date was surpassed only by the prospect of a random audit.

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