BEAVER DAM, WI—In an effort to justify the recent set of executive orders the president signed earlier this week to dismantle the Affordable Care Act, exhausted Trump supporter Phil Holt reportedly just decided Friday that massive cuts to healthcare subsidies were the reason he voted as he did. “Ultimately increasing the cost of healthcare for me, my family members, and others like me is why I voted for Trump the first place,” said the completely drained Holt, 56, who reportedly has spent the last nine months since Trump took office rationalizing every step the White House has made as his motivation for casting his ballot for the president. “When I went to the polls, I based my vote solely on the hope that insurance would be allowed to skirt around Obamacare policies that protect the elderly and those with pre-existing conditions from being discriminated against. Destabilizing the nation’s healthcare system is exactly what I wanted from Trump and exactly what I got. Yes, exactly.” At press time, a weary Holt had determined that getting a second job just to afford healthcare was always a part of making America great again.
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